Looking for a Sample Order of the Ceremony?

In addition to the preparation that we offer throughout the ONE course, we've included here some additional things that you will want to review and consider as you prepare for your wedding. Since the course focuses more on deeper issues, these things are not included in the course itself. Just click on the topics to the right!

you have your wedding. Most venues, especially churches, are usually booked up to over a year out.  Try and secure this before you go any further with your planning. You can always check out other venue options besides churches such as hotels, beautiful homes, or bed & breakfasts.

It's best to come to agreement on how many guests and how many attendants as soon as possible so that you can plan and budget for it.  The number of guests will determine your ceremony site and catering location.  The number of attendants will determine your ceremony stage design as well as your gift planning.  Be sure to come to an agreement on how many guests and attendants will be representing the bride and how many will represent the groom.  

Be sure to discuss the timing of your wedding with both families.  This can be a trying time between in-laws, but it doesn't have to be.  This might be your first opportunity to really work together as "one flesh".  It won't be perfect timing for everyone, but make sure it works for the two of you and your families. Once you've decided on a date, be sure to let those you have invited to be a part of the wedding of the dates so that they can clear their schedule.

LOCATION FEE

• The price will vary as the demand for the site varies. Also, you may get a better price if you are a member of the congregation.
• It is not unusual for ceremony sites and reception sites to be booked one or two years in advance, so be aware of this when looking into sites. It makes sense to check into sites before setting a definite date, as your date may have to be adjusted in order to book a favorite site.
   

WEDDING OFFICIAL FEE

• You may get a better price if you know the official or if you are a member of the congregation.
   

CEREMONY ACCESSORIES

• You might want to ask if there are any things that may be included in the price of the site.
   

REHEARSAL

It's best to have one person coordinating the rehearsal, and it's best if that person is not actually in the wedding.   Many ceremony sites provide their own wedding coordinator, although sometimes a cost is involved with involving them. Please view our sample rehearsal for an idea on how to conduct your rehearsal.
 

REHEARSAL DINNER

Usually seen as the responsibility (both financially and logistically) of the parents of the groom, this is a time for family and close friends to share a warm, informal time together with the bride and groom. Traditionally it is scheduled after the final rehearsal run-through. This is also the time where gifts from the bride and groom are given to their attendants and to their parents. You might also want to consider inviting those who have traveled a great distance to this dinner.

• It isn't uncommon to have this dinner at a house, or as a barbecue to cut costs.
   

RECEPTION

Determine what the feel of your reception will be. Is it going to be formal or laid back? Will there be activities or mostly just socializing? How many guests will you invite? Remember to enjoy yourself.  Everything has come together and now it's time to have some fun. 

IDEA: Avoiding guests waiting for the bride and groom to enter for the reception is pretty much unavoidable.  Photos or little factoids of the bride and groom, or stories of how they met can buy you some time. You could even provide a disposable camera for each table, and they can leave photos for the bride and groom!
 

RENTALS

• Whether it's tables, chairs, etc., remember to ask around for the best price. It helps to work with vendors who do a lot of rental business, especially weddings.
   

FOOD & SERVICE

• Buffets are always cheaper than served meals. Finger foods will always be less than full meals. Cold meals usually are priced less than hot meals. Different types of food will also have an obvious affect on your price. Talk with different caterers to get an idea of costs for different food.
• Does your reception site allow outside caterers on its premises? If not, do they have a package price for wedding receptions? What does that package include? See if you can physically see a sample, or a "tasting" as they are sometimes referred to.
•  Many sites ( as well as caterers) charge gratuity tax, ranging anywhere from 10-20%. Make sure you ask about this and if it's negotiable.  For example, you might be able to avoid a large gratuity charge with a buffet since there wouldn't be any servers.

 CAKE(S)

How many?  Custom flavors? Custom made?  Will there be a groom's cake?  Most wedding cakes range from $2-$5 per slice. Be sure to ask the reception site if you have to purchase a cake from them or if you can bring your own.  If you bring your own, watch for that sneaky "cutting fee" that some venues will charge.  You can cut costs by having one nice, fancy cake and then providing sheet cakes of the same or similar color and taste for the majority of the guests.
 

ATTIRE

THE DRESS & ALTERATIONS/COSMETICS

• Buying off the rack is always the least expensive. Other factors that will affect your dress price are whether it's custom made, unique material, an original, etc. Also, the bride's accessories will need to be a part of your budgeting: jewelry, shoes, gloves, etc.
• Get the wedding gown first and then you can match the bridesmaids.
• A wedding gown could take months to order. Be sure to plan ahead.
• To cut costs, accessories can be borrowed and the gown can be a grandmother's or hand-made.

GROOM'S TUX/SUIT/ACCESSORIES

• Will you rent or buy?  How pricey do you want to go? Can the suit and accessories be worn again?
• Usually, the groom picks out his tux at the same time he picks out the groomsmen's tuxes. Reserve tuxes at least 3 months out, if not sooner.

You can save some money by buying flowers that are in season.  Some couples have had their ceremony decorations double for reception centerpieces as well.

MUSIC

CEREMONY 

• Many people have friends or family that are musically inclined sing or play for their ceremonies.
• Exotic instruments such as harps or mandolins add an extra flare.
   

RECEPTION

• Get the type of band you want. Try and get a sample of their songs. How long do you want them to play? This will have an affect on the price.
   

PHOTOGRAPHY/VIDEO

Check wedding directories, phonebooks, even websites for the service that best suits you.  Often, word of mouth is the most reliable reference.  As with caterers, meet with several different vendors to compare prices and quality. Try and go to their office so you can see their work.

FEE

• If the vendor is in high demand, this usually raises the price.  The number of cameras and other equipment needed also will have a great impact on your bottom line. Check out package deals or specials they might have.  As with anything, the higher quality you want your film or video to be, the more you will most likely have to pay.
• Be sure to ask if there is a flat event fee, or if they charge by the hour.
• Discuss beforehand the price for additional prints or videos so that you know what to expect if you request more. Some will charge less on an individual basis if you order more. 

INVITATIONS

When making your invitation list, keep in mind you should have your guest list done 2 months out from your wedding day. Decide on a maximum number of guests you'd like to invite. Then, have parents give you a list of who they would like to invite.  Form an "A' list and a "B" list.  The "A" list includes people that must be invited, and the "B" list is for those you'd like to invite if there's room. You could even have a third list if you have a large number to fill. This list usually has co-workers and others you know less well.  Plan on most guests coming, though you might see a small percentage of fallout.

IDEA: You can address Thank-You's while you address wedding invitations. This can give you a head start with sending Thank-You's out!

• The type of paper stock you choose, any extra inserts, engraving, or rush deliveries will increase your costs. Make sure and check out all your options.
• Bridal shops and stationery stores have large selections of invitations. To cut costs, you can even do them yourself with a nice printer.
• Plan on mailing the invitations about 2 months prior to the wedding, which means you need to allow extra time to have them printed and delivered to you.
• Make sure to include an RSVP envelope!

THE RINGS    

• Any custom designs, engraving, or gemstones will increase the price of your rings.
• As a general rule, when dealing solely with the rings, the men's ring will cost more. Obviously, the addition of a stone to the women's ring soon surpasses the men's overall ring cost!
• Make sure and ask for the quality of the diamond.  Guys, try and take someone with you  when you pick it out who has had experience in buying diamonds so that you aren't fooled into lower quality.
   

WEDDING NIGHT/HONEYMOON

Both of these are usually the groom's responsibility and should be done at least 6 months out, if not sooner.

 WEDDING NIGHT HOTEL

• Some couples opt to leave the night of the wedding and forego the cost of a hotel night cost outside of the actual honeymoon
• If you do stay overnight after the wedding, you might try and work out a deal with one of the hotels where some of the wedding guests are staying. This affords you the opportunity to get a discounted room rate for your room. It helps to contact a hotel beforehand and set up a block room rate for your guests under your name. You can also try for a "newlywed upgrade".

Be sure that both ask for time off from work well in advance.